It’s been years but you still remember his email address and cell phone number; your first kiss, first date, first gift.
You still remember how it was like holding his calloused hands or how strong his presence is as he guides you through a busy street.
You still remember the cuteness of it all when he gets grumpy whenever you demand something but still gives in in the end.
Indeed, how can you say goodbye to this painted idea of him?
Two, five, ten or twenty years might have passed but the memories still linger in you.
But you know you have to move forward – be it a hop, a cartwheel, or baby steps.
It’s time to let go. Because how can you enjoy the present and embrace the future if you are still haunted by your past?

getting rid of your ex

Here are a few things to start with.

Reality Check

If he’s already taken, never ever drunk-dial him begging for you two to get back together. It’s not fair to the new girl. There’s karma, babe.

No matter how in love you two were before, things will never be the same again. You have both grown apart. Time can attest to that. Maybe you’re just in love with the idea of being in love with him all these years.

Stop Pretending

Even if you keep on making yourself and everyone else believe that you’ve moved on, there will always be this one chilly night as you lay down in bed that you’d find yourself sobbing as you reminisce the past.

Don’t take the easy way out. There is no shortcut in moving forward. Drink through the pain, not in a masochistic manner but to make your heart braver to accept as it is.

(Wo)Man Up

If it has been an abusive relationship, better take your time to enter into a new relationship. Emphasis on the word ‘new’ because there is no reason for you to go back to that a$&@!/3!

As much as soap operas, movies or novels portray bad guys turning into perfect gentlemen keep in mind that these are products of artists’ imaginations and are not necessarily deemed to be true.

Live Life

Failed relationship isn’t a one way scheme. It’s not just your fault. So stop blaming yourself.

As you wait for the right guy who will hold your hand for forever, enjoy dating yourself. You don’t need a man to experience the world. Go watch the sunset, learn to play ukulele, dine at a fine restaurant, enjoy what life has to offer.

Pray

Seek for God’s guidance and be patient. Whoever he is, he should be someone He has chosen for you.

Stop asking for a guy with perfect abs, eight-figure bank account, MBA degree or pointed nose and tantalizing eyes for all these will soon fade. Pray for the right guy to appear at the right time and that is when both of you are ready to take each other’s hands on the way to everlasting.

So don’t rush. Wait. Allow time to perfect your love story.

Meanwhile, just enjoy the ride. Because one day, when you least expect it, someone will appear in your midst, walk by your side and stay there until the end of time.

jhoyemiralJhoye Miral

About the Contributor: An AB Philosophy graduate from the Royal and Pontifical University of the Philippines, Jhoye finds pleasure in moon-watching, and loves the idea of being in love. She dreams of mastering the art of cooking Filipino dishes, having a flower shop / organic farm, and travelling the world in her blue North Face backpack. A Batangueña by blood, she currently lives in Singapore.